Just spent all day at Legoland. It was so much fun, next time I think I'll bring my children. # 13 hours ago

Craigslist has shut down their adult services section. Looks like the "used futon for sale" ads are about to get a lot more interesting. # 2010/09/04

Facebook is trying to trademark the word "Face". I am going to trademark the word "aceboo", and then wait for the dollars to roll in. # 2010/09/03

Now that you know the name of my new show, I'd like you to please welcome our very first sponsor: Utz Pub Mix http://bit.ly/aBtszp # 2010/09/02

I announced the name of my show today right here: http://bit.ly/cc3jhU (Spoiler alert: The words "Tonight" and "Show" aren't in it.) # 2010/09/01

I was going to announce the name of my new show today, but my lawyers tell me "The Return of Nanny McPhee" is taken. Tune in tomorrow. # 2010/08/31

A huge victory for me at last night's Emmys. That's right, my wife let me have the aisle seat. # 2010/08/30

Hey gang! I'm off to The Emmys on NBC! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! # 2010/08/29

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